Evidence of Flossing…Oh The Joy!


So I’m in the bathroom the other day flossing my teeth.  

I haven’t always been a believer in flossing, but since I’m stuck in Afghanistan and I won’t get to see my dentist anytime soon, I figured I better start believing.

I’m not sure I know the correct order of this hygienic ritual, but I brush first then floss.  I figure the brushing takes care of a good portion of the cleaning and then the flossing is the refinement. 

Now this may get a little weird, but I figure if I’m gonna tell the story then I better tell the WHOLE story and not just skip to the good parts. 

After I finish brushing, I begin flossing on the uppers, rear, right side and work my way forward, completing the half circle of all my uppers with the left rear. 

(Here comes a weird part) – If there were any particles dislodged in this process I don’t spit them out (yet) and I don’t swallow them, because I’m saving  it as evidence. 

I now switch to the bottom, rear, right side and work my way around, careful to NOT eliminate evidence.  It’s important not to give in to spitting to soon. 

Now that flossing is complete, it’s time for the rinse.

A sip of water; a swish here, there and everywhere; pucker and…spit!

And there it is!  Evidence! Evidence that you did not completely waste your time or waste all that effort trying to find the grip on a waxed piece of string!

Evidence that with all the technology we possess, a piece of string is still one of the most useful oral hygiene tools!

And the fruit (perhaps literally) of your labor, is there on that porcelain surface!

It reminds me of those old-time gold panners looking for the treasure at the bottom of the pan!    

Now, don’t deny this, when you see particles of your dinner that you’ve dislodged from between those molars and incisors there is tremendous satisfaction! 

How can you not be thrilled with yourself for finding these ‘gems’ which would have been left to cause tooth decay and bad breath had you not flossed!?

Disgusting?  Perhaps.  But satisfying none the less.  

So have at that popcorn and enjoy that corn on the cob!  That little piece of string, waxed or unwaxed, flavored or not, is here to ensure  these treats don’t overstay their welcome!

The evidence is in the bottom of the pan sink!


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