I’m in a far away land where there’s a bit of a war going on (not Detroit), living in an international community (not the east side of Cleveland).
The living arrangements are OK and I’m not complaining, but there has to be a few rules for using a community bathroom sink. Simple rules like, ‘turn the water off when your done’ and ‘clean up after yourself.’
Remember, this is not YOUR sink, but the one you are using among the eight in the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask to maintain a little decorum in our community bathroom?
The major violation and the prompting for this writing is the throat and nose clearing that I have witnessed in this international bathroom.
The first disconcerting element performed in this toe curling, nauseating ritual is the guttural hack which involves gathering the crud in the throat in preparation for the expectoration. This is followed by the deep nasal in-hale that causes the performer’s nasal passages to vibrate and the adjoining sink user to gag. Finally, and most disturbingly, the substance is deposited in the sink.
Another version of this is the snot extraction. Not into a paper towel or some toilet paper or, dare I say it, a handkerchief; not even a single nostril snot rocket – I’m talking into the hand, with a rinse in the sink.
The amount of effort expended in this nasal exercise is mind-boggling. First of all, where did they get all that…SNOT STUFF!? Secondly, and more importantly, why do they have a need to put it in their hand and then rinse it in the sink? The public sink!?
Now I’m pretty easy-going and I think I give people a lot of room for freedom of expression, but this crosses the line!
I know it’s a bodily function and all but I can’t be gagging on my toothpaste every morning as I’m forced to witness this ritual!
I saw a guy this morning, I think he was Croatian, who I swear was attempting to extract something from his bellybutton, via his throat!
The first time I heard it, I assumed there were enemy bullets involved and I screamed for a medic and ducked for cover!
We have international standards of conduct for various things in the military and I’d like to propose a UN Resolution of my own. We’ll call it UN Resolution #201264 concerning Nose and Throat Clearing in a public sink.
For the sake of international clarity, I’ve had this UN Resolution translated in the following languages.
Italian: “Lasciami in pace!” or “Vai a quel paese!”
Swedish: “Ta det utanför istället!”
Spanish: “Largo de aqui!”
Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian: “Ne Ovdje, Napolju!”
So next time you’re in a war in a foreign land, sharing a sink with the international community and you witness a Nose and Throat clearing that causes you to gag – Kindly, in a non-confrontational, international, UN kind of way, remind them of UN Resolution #201264:
“NOT IN HERE! TAKE IT OUTSIDE!”