Free To Exit – Via The Windshield

DISCLAIMER:  I’m not advocating  that anyone should put their life in danger from anything they may infer from this rant.  This is strictly between me and that…that….that seat belt dinger!

Kudos to the car companies for developing one of the most irritating sounds in a motor vehicle, matched only by the incessant car alarm.

‘The Man’ is always looking to interfere in our lives and he reached into our car seats a long time ago.

In Ohio it’s, “What’s Holding You Back?” Or the pithy, “Click It or Ticket!”

I’m amazed the government hasn’t required a car recording  similar to the direction given on an airplane:  “Insert the metal clasp into the buckle and pull it tight across your shoulder…the chime will ring until you comply.”

However, if you’d like to straddle 1200 cc’s of engine on a ‘crotch rocket’ that will reach speeds in excess of 100 MPH in about three seconds, then there is no need to wear any safety gear!  You can wear shorts, flip-flops.  a t-shirt, and a pair of your best Oakleys;  roll the throttle all the way back and maybe get a warning for popping a wheely from the local cop.

Now try doing 25 on a side street in a mini-van, slightly roll a stop sign without a seatbelt on and find yourself on the short end of $125 ticket!  They can’t stop you for not wearing it, but hey, let’s face it, they can stop you for just about anything if they notice your non-compliance.

My truck does not have the dreaded chime, so the seatbelt is an option (kinda like a motorcycle helmet).  I can freely cruise down the road unfettered by the pesky seat belt.  There’s only the little red seat belt man aglow on the dashboard reminding me of the rebel that I am.

But in our other car, the chiming accusation echos throughout the car in a non-rhythmic tone, so it’s a bit unpredictable and twice as irritating.

If the family is in the car, I’ll comply.

But in a total display of stubborn and man vs. machine, when it’s just me and the chime and the open road, I allow it to continue its grating, ceaseless clatter, uninterrupted by my compliance.  I figure it has to get tired eventually, or just wear out from over use.  Either way, I must show the machine that I am able to endure its endless song of alarm and maintain my focus on the road instead of its endless clamor.

The bought lasted 15 minutes.

Yep, 15 minutes is the duration of the dinger.  After 15 minutes, the  seatbelt dinger  in our Chrysler concedes that you are an idiot (and will probably be ejected through the windshield during your first and only collision) and stops ‘dinging.’

I defeated the machine!  Perhaps at my own peril, but defeated none the less.

In yet another triumph of man overcoming craftmanship and technology – I shut down the alarm without complying to its 15 minute cry of foul!

Now that I’ve once again demonstrated my superiority, I calmly and assuredly reach over my left should and secure the seatbelt.   Not because of the law or the chime, but because I choose to add a safety measure to my drive.

‘The Man’ will not keep me down!

What’s holding YOU back?